The problem is always that we mistake the idea of love For attachment Whereas actually, it is just Attachment, which causes pain. because the more we grasp, the more we are afraid to let go, hence, we are going to suffer. I mean, in genuine love is well,
Attachment says: you know i love you, therefore, I want you to make me happy and, Genuine love says: I love you, therefore, I want you to be happy if that includes me, Great! If it doesn't include me, I just want your happiness. And so, its a very different feeling. You know, Attachment, is like holding very tight, but genuine love is holding very gently, nurturing, but allowing things to flow, not to be held tightly. The more tight we hold on to others, the more we will suffer. But it's very hard for people to understand that, because the more they hold on to someone the more it shows that they care about them, but it's not, it's really is just that they're trying to grasp at something because they're afraid that otherwise they themselves be hurt.
Any kind of relationship which imagines that we can fulfill ourselves through another is bound to be very tricky. I mean, ideally, people should come together already feeling fulfilled within themselves and just therefore appreciating that in the other rather than expecting the other to supply that sense of well-being which they don't feel on their own. Then there's a lot of problems. And, also along with the projection which comes with romance where we project all our ideas, ideals, and desires, and romantic fantasies, on to the other which the other cannot possibly fulfill once you get to know them, you recognize that it's not Prince Charming or Cinderella, it's just a very ordinary person, who's also struggling And unless one is able to see them with, to like them as well as feel desire for them and also have loving kindness and compassion, then, it's going to be a very difficult relationship.
Attachment says: you know i love you, therefore, I want you to make me happy and, Genuine love says: I love you, therefore, I want you to be happy if that includes me, Great! If it doesn't include me, I just want your happiness. And so, its a very different feeling. You know, Attachment, is like holding very tight, but genuine love is holding very gently, nurturing, but allowing things to flow, not to be held tightly. The more tight we hold on to others, the more we will suffer. But it's very hard for people to understand that, because the more they hold on to someone the more it shows that they care about them, but it's not, it's really is just that they're trying to grasp at something because they're afraid that otherwise they themselves be hurt.
Any kind of relationship which imagines that we can fulfill ourselves through another is bound to be very tricky. I mean, ideally, people should come together already feeling fulfilled within themselves and just therefore appreciating that in the other rather than expecting the other to supply that sense of well-being which they don't feel on their own. Then there's a lot of problems. And, also along with the projection which comes with romance where we project all our ideas, ideals, and desires, and romantic fantasies, on to the other which the other cannot possibly fulfill once you get to know them, you recognize that it's not Prince Charming or Cinderella, it's just a very ordinary person, who's also struggling And unless one is able to see them with, to like them as well as feel desire for them and also have loving kindness and compassion, then, it's going to be a very difficult relationship.
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